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Title : Who's going to do his hair?
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Who's going to do his hair?

Cannon here: I have a few words to say before handing it off to D-Jay. As you no doubt know, Trump has tested positive for the virus. He's in his 70s and reportedly takes Plavix (coronary disease medicine), and thus is within the high-risk category.

The good news: Biden has tested negative. 

Matt Berman of Buzzfeed wrote the headline that sums it all up: "I Am The Politics Editor And I Have Absolutely No Idea What Happens Next." Well, don't look at me...! Despite my fondness for making overly-bold predictions, I cannot guess how this story will play out.

Right now, we have no way to be certain whether Hope Hicks gave Trump the virus or vice versa. The big obstacle: Team Trump lies incessantly.

Some say that this is all a huge trick to get out of further debates. That idea is too paranoid even for me. 

Others predict that Trump will gain sympathy votes. The evidence: Polls suggest that Boris Johnson became more popular when the virus hit him. The counter-evidence: A closer look at the polls suggest that Johnson's popularity shot up just before the announcement; his ratings started to slide when he got sick.

The right will assail us for any signs of disrespect or schadenfreude. My response: Remember when the rightwingers spread false "Hillary is dying" rumors in 2016? 

Nobody on the right wished her well. Nobody offered public hope for a speedy recovery from her nameless, imaginary malady. Rightwingers hooted and whooped and bellowed and painted their faces red as they did a tribal victory dance while screeching "DIE BITCH DIE!!" It was all very Le sacre du printemps. 

If they truly believed that Hillary was sick, their reaction was brutish and disgusting. If they knew all along that their Big Lie was a Big Lie, their reaction was brutish and disgusting. 

So show no mercy. Trump and his minions are thugs. We have no obligation to treat them any better than they treat us. Remember, these are the sickos who spread insane "Biden is a pedo" stories. Brutes deserve brutality.

And now, here's D-Jay:

*  *  *

A few posts back, I mentioned that the worst person in the world now – one Donald J. Trump – might also be its luckiest.  Not only has he managed to avoid bankruptcy and jail, he somehow wrangled his way into the White House and was on track to being able to appoint a third Supreme Court justice.

Quite a run, but it might just have come to an end.

Even with the patronage of Vladimir Putin, you can play Russian roulette just so many times before you blow your brains out.

At long last, Trump’s willful disregard of science has finally come around to bite him where it hurts.  It turns out that - no matter how effective it might be on low-information voters already mind-numbed by Fox News and toxic right wing pseudo-Christianity - the bizarre Trumpian version of the power of positive thinking has no effect at all on Covid-19.

I really think that Trump actually believed that the force of his character would allow him to will away the virus.  Turns out, however, that microscopic virus particles couldn’t care less.

The big question, of course, is what this turn of events is going to do to the election – but it can’t be good for team Trump.  If he ends up dead or on a ventilator, it’s pretty much game over, but even if he remains mildly symptomatic (a pretty big if, given his age, weight, poor diet, lack of exercise, and heart issues) how is this going to effect the image of a candidate for whom image is everything – literally everything.

If (heaven forbid) Joe Biden got the virus from Trump’s ceaseless rants at the debate, but were to remain symptom-free, what would fundamentally need to change in his campaign?

Not much.

He could re-isolate himself in his basement and carry on online with his resolutely safety-first Zoom campaign.  Which has worked surprisingly well, and probably would again.

For Trump, however, it’s a far different matter.

He’ll be in lockdown, separated - for the first time in his life – from the squad of paid helpers who do all his real work for him.

For example:

Who’s going to do his hair?

Who’s going to put on his make-up?

Who’s going to man the can of orange tan?

What would he look like on Zoom – without make-up or his $70,000 hair-styling…and will his legendary vanity allow him to appear “au natural,” no matter what the stakes?

So much for his self-styled superman image.

So much for his core argument that we’ve “rounded the turn” on the coronavirus.

So much for a month-long run of stock market surges.

So much for his idiotic claims that he is so much tougher and healthier than Biden.

And even if he can return to campaigning after two weeks in isolation, who in their right mind would want to come to one of his rallies - knowing that they might get a deadly disease from the man himself?  Masks, social-distancing, and a lot less shouting, anyone?

Karma’s a bitch, Donald.  But you’d better get used to it.

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